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Therefore, it’s impossible for them to validate you.

Knowing the other person, genuinely knowing, is the cornerstone of intimacy.

We replay past mistakes over and over again in our head, allowing feelings of shame and regret to shape our actions in the present. For example, jog with a backpack full of tennis balls.

We cling to frustration and worry about the future, as if the act of fixation somehow gives us power. D., biochemist at the Ramsey Medical Center in Minneapolis, crying away your negative feelings releases harmful chemicals that build up in your body due to stress. Channel your discontent into an immediate positive action—make some calls about new job opportunities, or walk to the community center to volunteer. Use meditation or yoga to bring you into the present moment (instead of dwelling on the past or worrying about the future). Make a list of your accomplishments—even the small ones— and add to it daily. Exercise decreases stress hormones and increases endorphins, chemicals that improve your state of mind. Focus all your energy on something you can actually control instead of dwelling on things you can’t. Express your feelings through a creative outlet, like blogging or painting. After you’ve built up a bit of rush, toss the balls one by one, labeling each as a part of your anger.

Only someone who has plunged your depths and finds you amazing, special, and wonderful can offer this level of validation.

There may be people you have dated who feel as though they love you, but in your opinion, they don’t you.

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, shares the true stories of families who have been targeted by predators, revealing the tactics predators use to manipulate their victims and why even cautious families can be vulnerable to their attacks.

He also offers suggestions from police officers, therapists, and child predators on the best approaches for preventing these crimes.